Wednesday, May 17, 2006

The power of HDTV

I now have a new appreciation (or fear) of the life-like quality that the zillion pixels in an HDTV set bring you. While surfing, I landed on a bodybuilding competition on one of the HD channels. I thought watching dog shows* or hockey games in HD was crazy.

Even the commentators (how do you get that job- piss off one of the big bosses at ESPN?) are referring to some of the competitors as "genetic freaks." Every last fake & baked, orange, tanorexic pec, lat, glut, bicep, trapezius, and deltoid right there in your face. Just imagine this dude coming at you in HD. I could even see that one guy's sparkly banana hammock was offset by a few inches, revealing more of his right butt check than he probably planned on, at least on national TV. When one guy poses, I can see the muscles in his face flex. I can see his nipples- they seem hard enough to crack my TV screen. And I can only tell that they're nipples because they are so pointy. These men have no areolae thanks to the fake tanning solution that I can see dripping off their oversized bodies. I can now see how much their penii have shrunk from the 'roids. How else would they fit in the banana hammocks? I had Ken dolls that were more well endowed than some of these guys.

While I took a break to watch Law & Order, there was some sort of tie for the Mr. Olympia championship. SO the five guys involved had a challeneg round, which concluded with a 'pose down.' I cannot stop watching. This is heavily-oiled, greasy train wreck TV.

* I am not a dog show person. However, I have become oddly fascinated by them in HD. I just can't turn away. Someone help me.


Lawrence said...

Do you think their skin makes a noise when they flex, like a leather couch on a hot summer day?

Lyss said...

Not sure. Though I imagine that their sweat colored orange, kind of like those Gatorade ads.