Monday, December 17, 2007

BIDMC & me

It's weird being on the other side of the gurney.

Roommate2.0 injured his hand on Sunday night, so off we went to the ER at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, because to go to any other ER would be like cheating on BIDMC. And like a fickle mistress, this visit for some banged up fingers took around 3 hours.

When they let me bring Roomie his book, I found him was stuck in a hallway, much like my first visit. Must be something special they do for sprains. (Unless it's a lonely weekday morning.) Roommate2.0 told me that he even spotted one of the nurses from my last visit, and was so bored that he thought about saying hello to her. It was a boring night. We waited for the docs to stop by, read the paper, watched the paramedics and EMT's come and go (had to wonder if one of them was the urban paramedic), and waited some more.

Anyway, we managed to escape the curse of having an ER neighbor with some sort of bodily function issue, when in rolled K_____. He appeared fast asleep (or unconscious) when they settled him in one of the curtain areas nearby. The he woke up. And minor hell broke loose.

Nurse: "Get back on the bed! What are you doing?"

K___: unintelligible grumbling answer

Nurse: "You just peed on the floor!"

K___: "That's OK"

Nurse: "No it's not! Would you pee on the floor at home?!"

K___: unintelligible grumbling answer

Nurse: "Most men use a urinal or a toilet, NOT the floor"

{a few minutes later}

Nurse: "This is a urinal. it's to pee in. NOT on the floor! If you can't handle that, we'll just have to insert a catheter."

(K___'s behavior was rewarded with a new friend to sit (guard?) at the foot of the bed - an imposing man wearing scrubs who looked like he used to be a professional boxer/defensive end/hockey player. )

Oh, and we found a runner up to Hairball Guy - We've dubbed her Exorcist Lady. Only she managed to sound scarier than Linda Blair in the Exorcist. Her "chanting" made every staffer near the central desk area perk their heads up. Then a few of them started saying something about a Psych consult not being there yet.

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