Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Meditation on being a Grown Up

Ever feel like you are just stalled? Like there are a thousand things you should be doing, but aren't, because you don't know where to begin?
Ah, modern life. I've got a Palm Pilot to beep and remind me that I've got to do something, or, worse, that I forgot to do something. The many clocks at work, at home, and in the car are both helpful and a curse. They remind me that even when I think I'm on schedule, I'm still sort of behind. It's an embarrassment of riches... I mean obligations... They sit, patiently, waiting for the end of the workday (or worse, interrupt it) to jump up and say
"pick me!"
"it's my turn, you forgot to take care of me yesterday!"
"no, pick me!"
"you said you'd deal with me last night!"

The idea of a vacation seems nice. Until you realize that you're merely putting off all the stuff that you really need to get done while you spend your week sitting on a beach, sipping drinks with small, colorful umbrellas in them, trying to forget about what is waiting for you the second you walk through the door of your house - the bills crammed into the mailbox, the plethora of emails awaiting you at work, the fact that your fridge is empty and you're really hungry.

It's hard not to get overwhelmed when the thought flies through my mind- "I can't wait until all these demands and drains of my time go away" - and then I realize that they're never going to go away. This is life.

Being an adult is not all it's cracked up to be. I have no idea how people with children or dogs (or any being that requires constant care and attention) do this. Every single day. I always thought being a grown Up would be neat. No one ever told me that it would be like this.

It's been a cynical day. I'm feeling burnt out and overwhelmed. Tomorrow is a new day.




2 comments:

Rhea said...

I think getting accustomed to being an adult comes in stages. At least it did for me. Buying my first couch, having my own apartment, learning to cook for company, opening an IRA (ugh), etc., etc. Don't expect it all at once! Also, when things get too busy, quit something!

-Ann said...

Being a grown-up does suck, but it has one silver lining - if you want to eat candy or ice cream for dinner, you can.